Grude Shift, part 2

Well folks, the Barney Saga is finally at an end. Congratulations to the two Grudemath contestants, who managed to finish so close to one another that the match was ruled a tie. Though, in fairness, I guess the endgame is a little easier when the final boss is just a shiny red button on an inconvenient ledge.

So here's my final salute to Barney Calhoun, the milquetoast security guard who proved that he could save the world just as well as the Shephards and Freemen out there... if by "saving the world" you mean "saving his own skin," and if by "just as well" you mean "for half as long and without any significant challenges along the way."

But still, Barney's still a pretty cool guy. I mean, the name alone should establish him in a pantheon of some sort, so I tried to do him some measure of justice in the speedpaint. Which, incidentally, comes in three different flavors, so prepare yourself for what may be too much Barney to handle.

Standard-issue Barney: Because this is the very least we expect of him.

Bye Bye Black Mesa: Nothing adds a bit more heroic flair quite like a convenient background explosion, even if this specific case is a little chronologically unlikely. But then again, Barney cares nothing for your human timestreams.

lol teleporters: Spoiler alert, the end of the game is just a wee bit stupid. In a rather ham-fisted attempt to wedge in a Gordon Freeman cameo, Barney suddenly starts glowing green -- certainly the color of high science -- and proceeds to teleport all over the place. Presumably because he's "triple-entangled" or some similar bit of complete codswallop.